A.M.
I can't believe that yesterday was real. It fees like I am still wrapped up in the sleeping bag, even while I am walking around. Gran is gone! Pops is gone! Mom is gone for good!
I have wished a hundred times that Mom would leave and never come back. Especially when she was at her worst and all drugged out. But not like this! I just wanted her to go away! I am on my own and I am only 15! I wouldn't even be here still if not for Williams. I lucked out when he found me because he doesn't seem like a bad person and hasn't tried to hurt me or anything. I didn't even think about it yesterday. I just followed his orders and went along like an idiot. I don't know him though and so I don't trust him, even though he was basically a cop. But what choice do I have? I am an unarmed buffet on legs without him! I guess I will have to stick with him for now. I am going to look for something to defend myself with. Just in case.
Time to go.
P.M.
I found a machete in a hardware store earlier today. It's better than what I ha before, which was nothing. I told Williams that we should try to hit a Walmart or sporting goods store to see if there are any hunting riffles or ammo left, but he said he doesn't think it's a good idea. I don't think he wants me to have a gun. I know that he has more than just the one pistol and shotgun he carries and h e has not even brought up teaching me to use one of them which makes me even more suspicious. I mean, if he offered, I might say no because I have never been around them. But he should offer to teach me for safety reasons. If something happens to him with a big group of walkers, I won't be able to help him because a machete will not do diddly squat (as Pops used to say) to a bunch of them at once. But, if I knew how to use one of the guns, I could at least help clear a path while he drives.
I am going to hint tomorrow and see how Williams thinks about teaching me gun safety. I hope that I will not have to do anything more than hint, but if I have to, I will ask him outright.I think that this means so much to me right now because of what happened to Pops, Gran and Mom. I mean, if I had made it home on my own, I would be dead by now. Even if I had made it home the same day I left, I might still be dead. The way I reacted was not helpful to anyone but the moaners. I would have been a man-which for them all. There might not have been enough left for me to come back as one of those things!
This also gives me something else to think about besides what I saw yesterday. What should I do now? Should I stay with Williams? I will be 16 in less than a month and I have no family left. The only person I know even a little, who I know is still alive, is Williams. And I don't know him really at all! If I don't keep moving with him, what will I do to survive? There is no way I could make it on my own! I have never even watched the most popular zombie shows! So I don't even have that little bit of T.V. knowledge to fall back on! All I know is my best chance to stay alive and as safe as possible is to stay with Williams. I will have to watch him carefully.
As a writer and artist, I appreciate
any readers and their comments. Thank you for taking the time to read
this blog. Please, come read the other blog I write for our artisan
collective, Raven's Castle Creations, on our website at
www.ravencastlecreations.com. It includes posts on art, the mythology
of symbols we use in our art, history and more! Also, come see the
art we produce in our Etsy store at
etsy.com/shop/RavenCastleCreations. Follow us on Twitter at
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