From the journal of James Cohen, Somewhere around April 27

Somewhere around April 27, 2017

     I have been stuck since I lost Dorris. I just stayed in the housing complex and have been remembering our life together. I feel like I have lost the will to keep going but I know that Dorris wouldn't want me to give up. I feel like I am stuck between what she would want and what I want to do, which is give up. Life is so empty without her.

    Tricksey has been having a blast here. All of the houses have little yards. She gets to be in the yards of whatever house we are in, either the one we are living in or the ones I spend the days searching. We don't go out every day. Sometimes, we go into the backyard of the house I am beginning to think of as ours. The day will just happen while I sit in the lounge chair and throw the ball for Tricksey or nap in the sun. Other days, we  go and look through another house. Tricksey is the lookout and I leave the door open so she can run to me if she smells any undead coming. We have almost gone through all of the houses on the two streets closest to our place. We have been lucky to not see a lot of undead here in this complex. From the mail I have seen in the houses, these families were evacuated pretty early on. They took clothes, pictures and other stuff they have a sentimental attachment to, but lots of good stuff was left. I have made our house very comfortable.

     Last night, while I was trying to sleep, I remembered this documentary about the Greenbrier Hotel's underground bunker. It was designed to house Congress in case of an emergency somewhere in the 50's'. I have always wanted to take a tour of bunker and stay at the hotel. Maybe, I should think about going there. I know it is a long way for where I am now, something like 3 or 4 states away. What else am I going to do?
     I guess I need to decide what and where I am doing next. If I am going to give up, then this place is as good as any to do so. I can kill myself in our little house and still be close to Dorris. But, if I am going to keep going, I need to make some decisions. Where am I going to go? What do I really want to do?
    I think I will spend a couple of days making up my mind and then I will have to act. Either kill myself or leave this complex.

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