From the journal of Jenna Bless, June 19

June 19, 2017

     Yesterday was so horrible. Well, it didn't start out that way. Breakfast was normal, all the kids laughing and joking while the adults slowly woke up. Sean and I spent the morning working with some of the adults planting more garden plants. Around lunchtime, Williams and the group came back from the construction site. And the world fell apart for one of our kids, Owen Bryant lost his mom, Jan.

     I guess they got swarmed by a horde and several of the group panicked. We lost four in all: Jan, Ed, Larry and Richard. The rest of the group made it into the trucks or on the supplies they carried and followed Williams out the back of the house construction site. The people we lost were overtaken and eaten. God, I hope that's not how I die!

     When they got back and Owen was told about his mom, he lost it. He screamed and cried and sobbed. Pam, who lost her daughter back at the beginning of April and Crystal, who lost her mother and brother on the same day, came forward and took Owen back to their RV. He cried all night, I know, I could hear him through my open window. They are the best ones to look after him right now, they've gone through what he's now going through, so they can help him. But, it's still going to be hard for him for a while. 

     I know, too. I went through losing my grandparents and my mother when this all started. If I hadn't met Williams, I might have died on that play structure at my school, surrounded by the kids I used to go to school with, all undead and hungry. If, by some miracle, I had made it down and back home without him, I would've been killed and eaten by my family. I'm only here today because I met Williams when I would most need him. It's lucky for Owen that he's part of this group, if his mom and him were alone when she panicked, he would've died, too.

     Last night, after everyone was in bed, I couldn't hold the memories back anymore. I remember walking in the door and seeing Pops, at first facing away from me and then turning, his face all chewed up and bloody. I remember screaming and Gran and mom coming in from the kitchen. Williams had to take them all out while I screamed and cried and threw up. He had to walk me through packing my stuff up and getting into the truck. He packed the food and grabbed anything that might be useful. Then we left and I watched the house get further and further away through the back window.

Owen Bryant

     I couldn't eat or sleep and I know I thought I'd never sleep again. I was totally unprepared for zombies and without Williams taking care of me, especially those first few days, I wouldn't be here at all. I basically shut down and just did what I was told, so I didn't have to think. If I thought about anything, my mind would go right back to my home and see my family again. All dead, well, undead at first. Then really, really dead once Williams put them out of their misery. I'll never forget it. But, I've made a “conscious effort”, as Williams calls it, to remember them like they were when they were alive. Pops laughing, Gran rolling her eyes and mom griping about this or that. It just takes time. 

     Right now, Owen is in the most painful part of learning to live without his mom. He's going to go through the same things I did. Trouble eating, sleeping and even being around people. He's going to cry, all the time at first and then at the drop of a hat for a while. Little things will set him off, things that remind him of his mom. He's eleven years old, almost twelve. I think it makes it easier, the older you are. It's still not easy at all. But the really little ones seem to have a harder time. Not that that makes it even slightly better for Owen. I sure hope Pam and Crystal can help him through this. I know Williams helped me through.

As a writer and artist, I appreciate any readers and their comments. Thank you for taking the time to read this blog. Please, come read the other blog I write for our artisan collective, Raven's Castle Creations, on our website at www.ravencastlecreations.com. It includes posts on art, the mythology of symbols we use in our art, history and more! Also, come see the art we produce in our Etsy store at etsy.com/shop/RavenCastleCreations. Follow us on Twitter at @ravencastleart and on Facebook at @ravencastlecreations.